It's no suprise I won't be here tomorrow; Can't believe that I stayed 'till today

I don't know what exactly to write about... but there's all kinds I want to get out. I'm just not too sure about how to put things.

So, Ill start off with something that's on my mind quite frequently. I like this girl... who also likes me. and as much as I really want to go out with her... I don't know how it would work. Maybe if we lived closer... maybe if we were able to see each other more.. there would be a better chance of things working out better. I dunno. Things may change. only time will tell where this situation will bring me. But I'm hoping that its somewhere good.

Anyway, Ive been thinking a lot about changes... changes that I'm going to make. I cant post anything exact here for a certain reason, but if you want to know whats going on I'm sure that Ill be glad to tell you... but just on where the whole world can see. Back to what i was saying; These changes are, well, going to change my life in a big way. I don't exactly feel like a kid anymore, due to a level of maturity i have gained and the responsibilities I have.. but I'm going to feel more like an actual human being who is a part of society.
Partly, this freaks me out a lot, but I feel that this is something that needs to be done, to better myself, and to better my future. I'm also very excited, because this is something Ive been thinking about very long and hard for almost 2 years... and I'm going to do it. It makes everything a lot easier and makes me feel so much better that the people who I have told (my family and a few close friends) are happy for me, and are not standing in my way. Thank you for that, it really does make a difference in my thought process.

In the last little while, I've come to the conclusion that I have lost a really close friend. Not lost all together, but we're not longer close, and I don't feel like I even know them anymore. I used to be able to talk to them about anything and go to them for advice. But I don't feel like I can any more, and I'm accepting it. I have never, or will never replace them, but I've moved on and made other friendships stronger.

So, that's just a little look inside my head, and whats been going on in there lately.

Oh, and also, I'm still missing everyone like crazy. I don't ever want to lose contact with any of my friends, and hope to have them for a long time to come. Even through the distance, I'm still here for any and all of you, if you ever need anything. I'm only a message or call away. :)
Later

Thinking too much gets me nowhere, except crazy....

...More to come, when my mind is less mixed up and I can think in a clear(ish) train of thought.
Good night world.

idontknowwhatiwantanymoreanditsslowlyeatingawayatmymind.... :/
(theres only like 2 people who will understand this, a few who think they do but really dont, and lots who have no clue. ps its not what your probably thinking... yes that makes sence)

Here comes goodbye...

Ok, today is tough. Some of my closest friends have left. and Tomorrow I leave for Halifax for a week. my two best friends are also leaving, and I dont know how Im going to cope. I think that its going to hit me later when im alone. Ughhh this is going to be a rough time.
And on another note, Im sick and tired of people. Certain people. I really do not understand how people could be so fucking dumb and blind and errgg. Blahhh. Im done. thats it. Im fucking done. The expression "You made your bed, now lay in it" fits perfect here. I hope that theres no wondering why things turn out the way they do, cause people bring it upon themselves.
:) have a fan-fucking-tastic day.