I dont know what to feel,

What's done is done.

Who knows, maybe I will

When the morning comes,

Right now I'm still numb.

A friend came to be with a problem earlier, and it really made me think about the tough things that Ive gone through in the last few years. The struggles that Ive had to overcome to be able to function like a normal person. The thing is, I dont feel normal. I dont really feel much of anything lately. Yeah, I suppose that I have had my happy moments, but its been just that, moments. I really hope that its caused my my recent social detachment from the rest of the world... and I hope that this gets better when I go back home, start working again, start having a life again.

I just had a realization, and I knew that I needed to get it out before I fall asleep;
I live my life with a great deal of fear in it. Im afraid to take risks. Im afraid to let people down. Im afraid of the future. Im afraid that people think the wrong things about me, and this has to be one of my biggest downfall. I dont know how Im going to life my life if I dont get over always being afraid.
What brought this on... Well I was just thinking about how Im going to tell dad that I want to move back home... But Im AFRAID that hes going to be mad, AFRAID that I will dissappoint him. I know that deep down I need to live my life for me, and not everyone around me. Thus Im afraid of this.
But its what I want.