A little something...

I wrote this the other night while I was trying to fall asleep. Its just something that may explain my distance from everyone lately. I really dont mean to ignore or avoid anyone, I just havent felt myself, or felt the emotions that I think would feel right. I just want to be back home, in the room Ive known for years, with the people Ive known for longer. I may be 19, an adult, but Im not ready for the real world... at least not all at once. baby steps I guess....
anyway. Here it is:

I sleep tp escape my reality;
But once sleep takes me over
I long to wake from the nightmares.
It's like a neverending cycle,
Of disaster and frustration.
theres no rest...
Long periods of nothing,
But never any rest.
I'm Just hurled from haunted dreams
To a life I could not dream of.
The cycle needs to be broken,
but how do I make my dreams
Turn from bad to good?
How do I make my reality
Just what I want it to be...
When I dont even know
What it is that I want it to be?
All I have seem to learn
Is what I dont want it to be.
And that Just doesnt seem good enough...
Nothing seems good enough right now...

...
Yeahhhh. I just wish that I knew what to do, or what I wanted to do. They say that all the troubles of life are worth it in the end. Im sure as hell hoping that it really is worth it...