Friday, March 23, 2012

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck,

Tonight, it hit home hard.
I tried to be strong, I tried to hold everything in...
I tried to not let everything get to me,
But today, everything just got to me. All of it. All at once.
I feel like I'm having a long lasting panic or anxiety attack...
I can't stop thinking about how this happened, why it happened, all of the unanswered questions, all of the thoughts running wild in my head. and on top of that, I'm worried about my grandfather, who is going to get a CAT scan tomorrow, I'm worried about school cause I can't focus, I don't sleep nearly enough, I don't eat very much either... and I'm worried about trying to be a good enough friend, I'm worried about trying to make everyone else happy...
I just can't hold all of this in anymore...
Everything just hurts so much right now.
I've never been through anything this painful ever in my life.
:'( I miss you Matt, I know that if you were here you would be telling me to stop being emo and try to cheer me up...

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