Your time is here, your time is up; All my guilt is wearing off..

Theres way too much for me on the plate in front of me. The expression "Eyes too big for your belly" fit here, somewhere... but in a different sence. I bit off a tiny bit more than I can chew. I help, help help help, butit doent seem to do anyone a whole lot of good. Im getting too worried. Why? Maybe for the wrong or right reasons.. but whos to decide? I worry. Its who I am, and I care. But maybe im worrying and caring a little too much.

SSince when did a pop bottle cap give the best advice? I should have listened to it. But if I hadnt, things would be completely different, and Im guessing that it wouldnt be pretty. Theres just to much to think about, too much to concider. Too much to say not enough time, not enough courage. Time heals all wounds? Well thats a crock of shit, because with time things just seem to snowball and get worse. Things get better, then worse. one step forward, 2 steps back. its like a heart monitor; In the way that it goes up and down, at times fluxuating, and the only time that its in a constant state is death.

Im done for now, with the nonsence that most dont care about. Thats all this, and everything else is, nonsence. The sooner that I can convince myself of this, the sooner that I can be happy and feel better. But thats probably a long ways off from now...