Dont think it dont get to me; between the work and the hurt and the whisky

I dont know why Im so down today. I dont know if its the lost sleep, coming back to things I dont like, the winter, the drama, the realizations, thinking, or if its just a combination of everything. It just sucks, and I dont want to be in a bad mood. but I am.

The trip to Europe was a blast. We saw so much in the days there, but what I saw I will never in my life forget. I cant believe that I got to be in the coliseum, see the Vatican, Wander the streets of Florence, Drink the Lemon Cello of Capri, Visit the ruins of Pompeii, See the mountains of Greece, The Parthenon in Athens, along with so much more. I had so much fun, new friendships, and made old ones tighter, and I am glad that I got to experience this once in a lifetime trip.

Ok, back to venting.

Im tired of school. I just want to be done with this year. As much as I know that Im going to think different in a week, thats just how I feel right now. Im just really sick of the work and the drama. I also just, dont want to be home anymore. or ever again really. As bad as that sounds, its the truth. I dont know why (and its not like I have it rough or anything, cause theres really nothing that bad about here) but I just cant stand being here.
Im also feeling really alone right now, probably because for the last 11 days ive had maybe 30 minutes of alone time, and I was ok with that. Every time that Im alone, my mind wanders to places that it doesnt need to be. I think about things that I shouldnt, and it just leaving me more messed up that I already am. I just want to be around people right now. Someone. Anyone.

I feel really distant right now. Not like im being distant from everyone, but rather like everyone is just so far away, and Im being excluded. I hate that feeling (and i dont even really know why im feeling like this) and just want it to go away. Ughh. I just need to have a long talk about life, and everything. i think that would make me feel so much better. probably not going to happen today, so Ill just sit here and stare at the wall, hoping that by chance of miracle will give me some answers to questions that few people can answer..